Memories of Rain
by Against.The.Current
Summary: This is the kind of thing I always dreamed about but the reality is far from a fairytale. Being reborn into a world of ninja and all the war and intrigue that inevitably follows them- caution and hope intermingled. A Self-Insert fic with a dose of reality.
1. Prologue

Like many people on this site I have been inspired by Silver Queen's fantastic story _Dreaming of Sunshine _(to the extent that my own title is a bit of a homage to hers), if you haven't read Silver's story yet you really should.

The plot will be slow to unfurl, with emphasis on character building, socio-political events and friendship/family. There will be NO FOCUS ON ROMANCE. It may pop up on occasion and yes, there will be attraction and the occasional crush but I will not give it much time in this story. ON THAT NOTE HOWEVER: If you are not open to all sorts of gender pairings this is probably not the story for you. There will be mentions of m/f, m/m and f/f relationships/crushes since I believe that all kinds of pairings should be explored in fiction to best reflect a realistic population demographic. Besides, love is beautiful. I honestly don't feel the need to justify it further especially since I won't be going into great detail either way.

The 'T' rating is for the run of the mill ninja violence.

Prologue

I don't remember how I died. For all I know there could be another me running around, her life uninterrupted by the non-event that so changed mine. Perhaps she is looking up to the sky like I once did and dreaming of other worlds.

The naive woman-child I was couldn't imagine a worse life than getting an office job and settling into a humdrum nine-to-five schedule, before perhaps dropping out of that to have a couple of kids in the suburbs with a nice man. Or worse- not even having children, just a neatly trimmed lawn and an exuberant dog to distract me from the monotony of life. I thirsted for independence and the ability to make a significant impact on the world, of course, but most of all I wanted something that I could not conceivably obtain.

Ever since I was a little girl I have been attracted to the unusual, the fantastic and magical. There was a time I couldn't read a book, watch a television show or play a video game if it didn't have a fantasy element. For the most part I grew out of that phase but even as a young adult I found myself drawn to ideas and concepts which did not exist in the mundane world I had grown up in. I longed for something which didn't exist and that realisation was a physical blow each time I reminded myself that _no, it really doesn't get any better than this. _

Surrounded as I am now by violence and deceit, not knowing when myself or the people I love will die (because in the life of a shinobi, it is always _when_ not _if_), I want to smack my daydreaming self of day's gone-by for not appreciating what she had. On Earth, where I grew up at least, there was such a thing as a childhood, creative pursuits and a long life expectancy. On my more melancholy days in the new world, I measured the worth of my new life against the old one I had left behind. Even if I had my old and new families alongside one another (as well as all the friends I had accumulated along the way), would the ability to wield chakra really be rated higher than the safety of everything I held dear?

I had been... selfish. Childish. I hadn't known how good I had it until I lost everything and it made me realise something (all right, I admit it, I didn't realise anything _right away_ but I got there eventually).

Hiding behind fantasy isn't an option any more; I cannot be selfish in this lifetime, this war-torn world which wears a mask of peace. I _am_ an adult now and it's my turn to shield the children under my care. They can call me an 'inner baba', a nag or a wet blanket but by all the gods of the two worlds to which I am intrinsically bound, I will drag them out of harm's way kicking and screaming if I have to. No one is dying on my watch, not so long as I live.

That's _my_ promise of a lifetime.

* * *

I'll skip the gory details of pregnancy and birth, the former of which I have only a fleeting impression of (warmth, muffled sound, _boredom_) and the latter I endeavour to do my very best to forget about entirely. Forever. Please don't mention it again. There's a reason your bellybutton is both your first scar and the only one you carry for life indefinitely. Yeah. I am scarred for life in more ways than one.

There are also the horror stories of my earliest infancy, which I would rather not discuss but feel I should touch upon for the significant impact they had on my new life: all those times when I was confined to a caged crib, a giant's arms, the suffocating fabric of a baby wrap-around carrier, every new experience was a lesson in entrapment and helplessness.

I cannot conjure words hateful enough in any language to describe how much I despised the lack of freedom I had then, often constrained to an extent that I couldn't even scratch my nose if I needed to. Crying had little effect in that regard, because if the three obvious conclusions (feeding, changing, sickness) came up empty, how were my new parents going to spring to the conclusion of 'my changeling daughter has an itchy nose', never mind something with more emotional depth? Directly after my birth I didn't even have the muscle control to crinkle my nose and facial dexterity extended no further than being able to open my mouth and bawl. I did so much of that in the beginning, robbed of any other form of expression: confused, terrified and near blind with a useless tongue that couldn't even form words. I was in hell.

Although I have seen more than enough in this new world to give me nightmares, the most reoccurring has been of this time. Being trapped in my own body, an adult brain bound to such a helpless shell that is was unable to even hold that organ aloft under its own power... I still wake up in a cold sweat at the thought of being back there and throw myself into training, sometimes going for runs at ridiculously early hours, spitting in the face of curfew as I launch myself across rooftops and through the dense forest canopy just to prove to myself that I _can_.

This habit would not have served me well in another hidden village, I would have been pulled up on disciplinary charges for less in Iwa or Kumo and Kiri would have probably done me in long before graduation (or perhaps _for_ their graduation exam). Fortunately Konoha is the 'nice' village, for all its political intrigue and dehumanising underground organisations, the ANBU weren't going to pull a young kunoichi in for questioning just because she couldn't sleep. My night time 'strolls' might be a matter for private record and heaven knows that the ninja on duty like to keep an eye on me but the village had a vested interest in me- they understood that I needed to be human sometimes in order for me to be a ninja the rest of the time.

For that small kindness (which was once a right which no one had any business in restricting) I will always be grateful. I'm so thankful that I didn't end up somewhere else in this world, or perhaps another world which is facing even worse odds. A slightly different reality of this world, or any number of the completely different alternate universes I had read about might not have been able to prepare me for the trials ahead. I could count numerous fantasy worlds (though for all I know, they could be real too) that would not have been as kind as Konoha, for all that the village had trained me to be their weapon.

Despite the fact that I am a fan (certifiably, irrevocably and unashamedly so), I did not know I was in the Naruto verse for quite sometime and had I been under different circumstances I would have been quite ashamed of my obliviousness. However, my new parents were not ninja and neither my eyesight nor awareness was fantastic early on, I was also kept inside the house and small garden for the first leg of my second life, bar a few trips to the market with my new mother.

She was not a conventional beauty, although she was undeniably pretty. I began likening her to an Asian Luna Lovegood for her dark eyes which seemed to be in a perpetual state of wide-eyed surprise and the soft lilt of her voice which sounded dreamy to my ears. Her hair was long and tuggable and as soon as I was old enough to I would wriggle a hand out of my baby wrap and tangle my fingers in the silky strands. Even though my plans for hair reins completely fell through (I admit, my thought processes were more than a little batty back then), I still relished the texture on my new hands, so receptive to every little sensation and starved all over for contact which _I_ could initiate, rather than just having to accept what was given.

It came as no small relief that I had somehow been reincarnated (could it be reincarnation if I didn't remember my own death? At that point in time I was torn fifty/fifty between that and a very long, vivid coma) in Japan, as I had a rudimentary grasp of the language already. My best guess as to location was that I now lived in some kind of historical quarter not far from a cosplay hub, which would explain the lack of skyscrapers yet steady influx of obviously Asian people with brightly coloured hair and odd clothes. To be fair, I hadn't been getting the best view of the world at the time, strapped to Rokku Izuki's chest every time I went out. With a better vantage point I might have made out the chuunin vests and hitai-ate.

My rusty Japanese was given a good polish and soon my vocabulary actually began to increase. I concentrated on my language skills, aching for the day where I could speak without being labelled abnormally intelligent- I had no desire to be marked as a genius. Maybe if I was still in Scotland but not Japan, or what I thought to be Japan at the time. The fabled Japanese work ethic frankly scared me and I wanted to avoid the pressure of a heightened study regime.

As much as I wished to avoid scrutiny, I wanted to avoid the second youngest member of our family even more.

My big brother. I scoffed at the thought. I _had_ a big brother, three years older than myself and much preferable in a long distance relationship (now made even longer by my current predicament) given that he had never quite grown out of his bullying phase. Or borrowing money without planning to return it phase. Or breaking my things and not replacing them- you know what, you get the picture.

Izuki and Daisuke liked to try and involve this strange new sibling with me from the moment I was brought back from the hospital. They would often lift him up over the bars of my crib to bid me goodnight and although there were no kisses (it was a fantasy approximation of Japan after all) I got a sloppy pat on the head from the gurgling infant instead. We were sometimes allowed to play together too, although it was with strict supervision and you could hardly call lying beside one another surrounded by soft toys 'playing' anyway. My 'brother' wasn't even a year old when I was born, possessing the same dark wide eyed gaze as our mother and messy tufts of similarly hued hair which had yet to settle into either Izuki's straight locks or Daisuke's rumpled bed head.

It was strange, to have a father so attentive even though he was always exhausted from work. I didn't know what he did, didn't find out until years later, only that he left early six days out of the week and came home late as many nights. I also knew, peripherally, that fathers were supposed to put their children first and not just treat them like particularly fragile toys there for their own amusement. This new father was soft spoken, full of secret smiles and gentle touches and he knew when to back off when tickling got to be too much, or I just wanted to be left alone to sleep. He was a fascination to me although I kept expecting the other shoe to drop.

Daddy issues, I have them.

It wasn't until years later that I discovered that I was born almost dangerously premature, that my big (tiny) brother was only seven months older than me- apparently no one told our parents that fertility rate spiked soon after pregnancy. Add to that that I was miraculously (and suspiciously) born on my old birthday, I was lucky to have survived and thus my parents had reason for smothering me more than usual with a newborn. Iro-nin were magic workers, in my old world I could have spent at least a month in ICU and thus probably cottoned onto the fact that there was something wrong much sooner.

Izuki and Daisuke could have told me themselves, if not for what happened four months after my second birth.

It was a frantic day to top off a stressful week. Daisuke had taken the last two days off of work and Izuki was fluttering about the house like a particularly skittish monochrome butterfly. The feeding schedule was off, no one seemed to know what to do with themselves and during the quiet moments between tasks, both new parents just sat in silence, their fingers intertwined in a white-knuckled grip. Every moment I strained my ears to pick up hushed conversations and worked furiously to translate them. What was more telling was their actions: Izuki packing and repacking the baby bag, Daisuke looking out the windows with worried eyes, rarely leaving the side of the old fashioned radio which breathed only static. Only the squirt seemed unaffected, gurgling happily enough and working up to longer words and even stringing a few together. Smart tot, if a little oblivious.

The sudden flurry of activity took me by surprise, I had exhausted myself into slumber and awoke with a start as I was grabbed less gently than usual and stowed in Izuki's wrap-around baby carrier. I didn't even realise I was crying into her collarbone until she shushed me, frightfully. "Shhhh." She rocked me with a trembling hand and continued in the same tremulous tone as before, so unlike her usual airy manner. "Please hush, Hinoe-chan. We have to listen very carefully to the nice ninja now."

'Ninja' shocked me into silence and I blinked away the few tears which had gathered purely on reflex. I tried to turn my head to see- because, _surely_ I hadn't heard that right... All I could get a good angle on was Daisuke holding my little brother, his cuddly toy turtle/tortoise thing clutched in one chubby fist as he gazed about, looking as confused as I felt.

We were hurried out the house and although I couldn't feel tremors through my mother's body (other than her own) and there was no wind, everyone was acting like a natural disaster was bearing down on us. I shivered at the thought of a hurricane or tsunami- I would be torn apart, crushed, there was no way I would survive something like that! Looking back over at my fretting little brother I knew he wouldn't last long either. We were completely at the mercy of our parents and, now that I could see him, that gangly teenager in front of us, his breaths coming steady even as I felt Izuki's shuddering in and out.

Our little family was heading towards a mountain, from what little I could make out. _Oh gods_, I thought, _what if a volcano's erupts? _I couldn't smell smoke but the thought terrified me, as far as natural disasters go, a river of lava is probably the one I wanted to encounter the least. Surely, if we were getting up high we would be safe, provided we had enough oxygen to breathe once the poisonous gases started filling up the sky. Turning my face into Izuki's shirt I sniffled, cursing how easy it was for me to cry in this state- I was a grown woman for fuck's sake!

As my mind conjured more disasters, from tornadoes to Godzilla, I failed to notice the change in the atmosphere, the mounting tension becoming more palatable until Izuki stopped dead in the middle of the street, trembling like a leaf as she encircled my fragile form in her arms as if to ward me against blows. Her eyes darted between each shadow and back, unresponsive to my hair tugging as her breath came in shallow gasps.

"'Zuki," Daisuke pleaded, sweat beading at his brow. "We have to keep-"

It swept over us then, impossible for even my underdeveloped, previously unused chakra sense to ignore, terrifying and alien and every inch the disasters I had imagined and more. It was the weight of a tsunami, the force of a hurricane and the raw heat of staring an explosion in the face right before it engulfed you. Even knowing the mechanics and spiritualism behind chakra, I struggle to sufficiently describe what the Kyuubi's feels like and subsequent exposures to it only seek to overwhelm me anew. The first time was like fire burning me from the inside out and knives running along my every nerve ending, blades which were so sharp, I only felt the pain after they stopped slithering over my skin. Then there were the sensations which could not be defined as physical but hit me like a punch to the gut anyway- _emotions_ clawed for my attention until even the echoing taste of mother's milk couldn't erase the _fury_ and _bloodlust_ which cloyed at the back of my throat.

Peripherally, I heard a baby's cry and for the life of me couldn't figure out if it was my little 'big' brother's voice or my own.

Daisuke pulled us all into an embrace as an explosion rocked the building behind us, spewing splinters and slate on his back and shoulders and every inch of flesh likewise exposed. Between them, our parents kept anything from touching us, even Izuki seemed to have recovered, her eyes ablaze as she hunched over me, her long hair spread over both her children.

I was her child and she my mother- even if it was only genetic to me and rang so false it was almost repugnant, that feeling wasn't mutual. I was her _child_. I didn't know what to feel.

"Quickly! There's still time!" A teenager I had barely made out before (thanks, vision-restricting baby carrier) waved his one good arm for us to get moving. _Is this the so-called ninja? _My eyes were still underdeveloped and his face was a blur to me but he was indeed little more than a kid- his limbs that awkward, unmistakeable length in proportion to the rest of his body that spoke of growing pains and misjudged distances. He held himself well though, aside from how he wasn't using one of his arms.

"For the sake of my family, thank you for assisting us, Shinobi-san." Izuki half bowed as she picked up the pace to a hurried trot, cradling my head in one hand and dusting debris off her husband's back with the other. Daisuke winced as her hands fluttered over the shards of shrapnel which had pierced his shirt, leaving shallow cuts and little bloody rivers flowing down the curve of his spine. "The damage would have been worse if you hadn't intervened."

_Intervened? _The kid hadn't even done anything, not that you could when a building blew up, I reasoned. How had that happened anyway? And come to think of it, we were lucky to get away so lightly. Still, I wanted gone from this place, the street felt so exposed and that horrible, hurtful feeling might come back if we stayed here. _I want my mum._ I thought forlornly before crushing that impossible plea.

I smacked that sentiment down, it hadn't done any good before and it certainly wasn't going to help during a real crisis. My skin was still prickling uncomfortably from that mad rush of feeling earlier but I pretended I was fine and pushed the sensation away, focusing on the curl and stretch of my toes, the humidity in the air, Izuki's hair tangled in my fingers. After a few minutes the feeling was gone and I had nothing to distract me from my brother's stuttering sobs and the sound of panicked feet pounding the pavement. We had joined another group of people now, our small contingent joining onto the tail end of another four times our size. Our guide shuddered out a breath of relief and I heard the smile in his voice. "Okay, Tanuma will get you underground, I need to get back to-"

The sky seemed to split in half with the force of the next wave and I couldn't even find the oxygen to scream as a block of flats cracked up the middle and started to slide away from its supports towards us.

"Tanuma!" Our guide cried out and suddenly the ground rumbled beneath our feet (I could barely feel it over the pounding of Izuki's heartbeat), a great wall of earth rising up to catch the falling wall before it could crush my second mother and I. Daisuke rushed to us, the munchkin uncharacteristically silent although he continued to cry.

_A dream, it has to be a terrible, horrible dream- _

The earth wall gave way as Tanuma fell to his knees, rocked by another wave of monstrous energy.

People were screaming, my head hurt, Izuki was holding me too tightly, my head hurt, it was dark, my head hurt. I fell unconscious.

Our ninja helpers were fresh genin, drafted almost straight out of the Academy to help evacuate civilians in the event of the Kyuubi breaking free of its current vessel, Uzumaki Kushina. The call to evacuate to the underground tunnels in the Hokage mountain was a last resort and, had the Madara imposter not intervened, would have been completely unnecessary. I blame him, the one calling himself Madara. I remember the manga well enough, that big reveal was one of the last chapters I read before coming here and I always had a good memory for stories and (previously) useless fandom facts. While before I thought he was a bland, uninteresting villain with periods of cracktastic insanity (I used to think his moon plan was hilarious), now I _loathed_ him for more than having no discernible purpose, no vendetta or logical reason for what he did. Madara I could understand, even respect in a twisted way but Not!Madara would receive no empathy or regard from me other than the desire to put him out of his miserable existence like a mad dog.

I blame him for our father's crushed skull, secret smiles bludgeoned into oblivion until even the hope of an open casket was folly. For our mother's ribs crushed to powder as she shielded us with her body and used the corpse of her dead husband to prop the rubble up long enough for us to be dug out as she choked on her own blood and vomit. For the screams of my little brother as he and I were pulled from the debris, myself gaining consciousness in time to see our guide, Hamada Genji, shear my second mother's hair off with a kunai so he could pull me out from the little pocket of air Izuki had so desperately made.

I cried then, wailed like the world had fallen down instead of just a building and reached for dead eyes and lost smiles.

The two of us were raced to the Hokage mountain, where most of the hospital staff not cleared for field duty were currently posted to deal with the injured well enough to move or be carried. Genji cradled the both of us in his one good arm, pinning us none-too-gently to his chest to stop my head lolling and the other screaming infant flailing out of his grip.

Hamada's face was young and scared, eyes wide and unseeing as he sprinted through the streets and I took in every inch of his face so that I might remember him and thank him later. Sunlight reflected off the teen's hitai-ate while I got my tears under control, distracted by the small task enough that I could make out the design when my tears abated somewhat. Upon the metal plate, already scratched from field duty, was a stylised leaf with a spiral at its centre. No matter how I look as it still looks like the back end of a headless snail to me.

Konohagakure no sato. The village hidden in the leaves. Ninja. The mismatch of impossible genetics and pseudo Asian culture... it made sense in a horrifying way. If I had known before that day I would have been ecstatic but of all the times to be helpless... I looked over Genji's shoulder as best I could, saw the destruction that Kyuubi caused without even being in the village yet and felt sick. Cause tsunamis with a flick of its tail indeed. It looked like Kurama would do a lot worse than that before the night was over and he was finally sealed in Naruto.

_Please, _I begged,_ don't let me have changed anything, don't let me be the butterfly for god's sake, not when it comes to people's lives. _If any of the Konoha twelve or the many other integral characters had been harmed... I focused on the ramifications, the maybe-catastrophe so much easier to deal with than the hell happening right then.

"KAAA-" Lee screamed, "TOOUU!"

I froze, going unnaturally still in our protector's arms.

I had been avoiding thinking about Lee as a person. He was so small and didn't have much of a personality yet, it was easier than it should have been. I honestly hadn't known what to do with him and once he was older I thought I would know even less. No one would accuse me of being a good role model and besides, as the 'older' one, Lee probably wouldn't have taken well to being intellectually supplanted. Like I've said, I have bad experiences with big brothers and had been content with the thought of another distant relationship, this one established from birth in a culture that prided itself on emotional distance in comparison to my overly blunt Scottish homeland. Now I couldn't keep distance, even if Izuki and Daisuke had lived, I was already emotionally invested.

It all started to slip into place. _Oh gods, he's Rock Lee. I'm Rock Lee's sister. _My mind supplied the English spelling even as I knew it would be spelt Rokku Rii in kana.

_He just lost his parents. They weren't really mine after all. Not _ours_, just his. _I reasoned, still trembling in shock and numerous small cuts bleeding freely... _I can be strong for him, he _needs_ me to be._

"Leee." My first word came out as a whine clogged with snot and tears. I patted his cheek, startling him out of crying. "Lee."

Lee sobbed, grabbing my blood soaked onesie and didn't let go until Genji gave us into a iro-nin's care in the caves. Even when we were patched up, when the all-clear rang out to go back to the village proper, when we were fostered off on an over-crowded children's home that night, I didn't let go of the child who shared my blood.

"_Don't cry_." I whispered in carefully annunciated English which still didn't sound anything like it should. Face-to-face in our shared cot that night, I clumsily rubbed my brother's back to the sounds of other infants shuffling and sniffling. "_It's going to be okay. I promise it's going to be okay, Lee._

* * *

AN: I have been sitting on this story for a long time, constantly changing the plot and premise until I was finally happy with enough of it to start publishing. I actually had to change my SI's name from 'Choko' to 'Hinoe' because another 'Lee's Sister' story came out with a character of the same name (_Konoha's Beautiful Lotus_ by Supernatural Crossover Girl). I'm kind of glad (although it doesn't sound quite as good as my original choice) since it gave me an opportunity to research some _kanji_ meanings, an activity which I have been severely neglecting of late.

Rokku which is how 'Rock' is spelt in the Japanese _kana _is actually a type of wrestling which may be an allusion to Lee's later prowess in taijutsu. It was harder for me to come up with a kanji for his given name but 'ri' is a common symbol meaning 'clever' and 'i' can mean 'twelfth zodiac', in this case Sagittarius or Boar. Lee is canonically a Sagittarius but I made him born in the year of the Snake which is a fixed Fire year, along with the Horse and the Ram which come directly after that and I believe this somewhat explains the baby boom in Konoha around this time. Konoha is the capital of the Land of Fire where parents would want their children born under an auspicious sign and a war's not long ended, hey presto, lots of clan heirs all born in the same year.

The meaning of 'Hinoe' is a little more complicated as it carries a purely Japanese connotation (to the best of my knowledge at least). Hinoe means '3rd calender sign' and is linked to the Hinoe Uma (roughly 'Fire Horse'), the Japanese superstition surrounding a year taking place every 60. Reputedly the girls born then are more dangerous and bring bad luck to their husbands. Obviously every Hinoe Uma year is a Year of the Horse. Hinoe was not born in a Hinoe Uma year but a year of the horse all the same as Lee is seven months older than her (his birthday is November 22nd, hers June 7th) and I've already stated that he's a Snake. For kunoichi, a Hinoe year is very auspicious, but not so much for a civilian family like Hinoe and Lee's.

In my head!canon back story, Izuki wanted a matching astrological naming scheme for both children and Daisuke wanted to warn off his daughter's future potential suitors in classic overly-protective father fashion.

Please tell me what you think!


	2. Chapter 1

I'm sorry if I offend anyone with Hinoe's expletives, particularly using 'god' and 'gods' casually like I did last chapter. I don't conform to any particular religion so it is mostly a colloquialism that I grew up with which is difficult to remove from everyday speech without making dialogue sound wooden. Hinoe is also more spiritual than myself, if only because a lot of crazy things have happened to her and therefore she is hedging her bets. No disrespect is intended.

Also, this story will be written without an omnipresent narrator from now on, the prologue was the only exception.

* * *

Chapter One

I was walking well and talking coherently at two. Frankly, I should have waited longer to avoid suspicion but there was so much I wanted to do and being silent and helpless wasn't on that list. Especially if it meant going through the embarrassment of having my nappies changed by strangers any longer. It had been bad enough when Izuki and Daisuke did it but to have the orphanage workers clean and dress me was _mortifying_.

Lee picked things up faster than he probably would have otherwise with my example, toilet training among them, and could babble up a storm in both English and Japanese.

That was the biggest risk I had taken. I knew that bilingual children had a better start in life than those that only learned one language. I knew that introducing a new language early on was not confusing to an infant, like it would be to someone even a few years older. This ability to retain information and linguistic skills would spike at aged four before quickly declining and I was determined make the most of this period and give Lee the best chance at life, providing him with all the conversational skills that our carers could not adequately spare the time for. The only problem was gathering enough Japanese to pass onto him and after analysing the linguistic scraps I gathered, I would incorporate them into the improvised lessons I scattered between play and the lacklustre classes we were provided.

As we talked to one another in our 'nonsense' language, I was relieved to hear that the staff thought it was a form of twin-speak, a result of being so close in age and spending all our time together. I breathed a sigh of relief again when they deemed my mother tongue harmless. Lee and I would grow out of it soon, they said, and we spoke Japanese better than expected anyway.

Rock Lee was a sweet child, seemingly unaffected by the deaths of our parents a little more than two years previously and I thanked whoever was listening for that small mercy. His clinging was endearing and he followed in my tottering shadow like a duckling his mother, an attitude I was selfishly quick to indulge. Voraciously curious, he would come up with new questions for me everyday without fail which I did my best to answer. Thankfully, Lee was prone to sulks rather than tantrums when I couldn't explain something sufficiently, or when things didn't go his way. All in all, Lee was a godsend compared to some children I'd had to deal with in my old life.

"_What's that?_" He pointed a finger at the large insect fluttering colourfully on a flower in the small garden behind the orphanage. Other children ranging from our age to about eight or so were mostly clustered around the sandpit, leaving us alone in the shade of a sycamore facing the flowerbeds.

"_A butterfly." _I repeated the word in Japanese, a practice I'd adopted to try and keep his language skills balanced.

"Chouuu~" Lee sang before flopping back down, burrowing into my side like a lazy puppy. It was the height of summer and I longed for a cool breeze but didn't push him away, for all that he was sweaty and making me sweatier with contact. I yawned, pressing my cheek into the shadow upon the grass to try and leech the cold from it.

My almost-nap was uninterrupted by the vibrations of feet, the steps too heavy to be a child. I rolled onto my back and stared up at Takahashi Ginko above me, she was the senior manager of the orphanage or something similar, I wasn't too sure on the title in translation. She was stern but not unfair and had the air of someone who had being doing the same job for years with the same exacting precision. Most importantly, as far as the children under her care were concerned, her word was law.

"Hinoe-chan, time to come with me."

I frowned, wondering what on earth for. "Can Lee come too?"

She shook her head, not unkindly but I knew from experience that it was smarter not to argue. I nodded in acknowledgement _"I'll see you in a minute."_ I entangled my limbs from the sleepy boy who rubbed his large eyes cutely in response.

"_'Kay." _

Takahashi took my hand and lead me inside. It wasn't the first time she had held my hand but I still marvelled every time I touched someone skin-to-skin. With Takahashi it always took me a while to separate the physical sensation of the wrinkles on her skin from the feel of her civilian-sized chakra which stood strong, complicated, and immobile like the trunk of a gnarled tree. This was just another thing I hid from people, keeping my face carefully blank as I worked on tuning what I could only assume was my chakra sense.

The first few times after the ability manifested, I reacted explosively. It was unlike anything I had ever felt in my old world and I was reminded too strongly of the Kyuubi's energy bearing down on me to not scream when someone touched me in the beginning. Thankfully, I had still been young enough that tantrums weren't too far from the norm.

Somehow, I had never noticed Lee's chakra unless I actively went looking for it, even though we had slept side-by-side in the same crib or futon since the Kyuubi attack. Almost a year since I started sensing chakra weaker than the Kyuubi's at the height of his fury, and I could still hardly feel Lee's spirit pulsing gently beneath his skin. His chakra felt like new bulbs, just barely poking their shoots up through frozen ground.

I pondered the purpose of going to the office as I observed the drawings pinned to the corridor walls, cheerful scribbles alongside more anatomically correct ones. Art was something I had always enjoyed and though I was never particularly good at it I was still able to produce better pieces than any of these. It was just another thing for me to tiptoe around and even with the crayons and cheap poster paints we were given, I made sure to create nothing even resembling reality. My poor motor skills helped with that.

The elderly woman opened the door and nudged me inside, sliding it back into place behind us.

A man sat in a chair on the visitor's side, standing up as Takahashi took her own seat across from him. I was left standing awkwardly, facing them at an angle so I could observe them both.

"Hinoe-chan, this is Hishigawa Akihiro-san, he very much wanted to meet you." The... chuunin I was guessing judging by the flack jacket and relative youth (though that was never a stable indicator) gave me a friendly wave and a smile as my stomach plummeted to the level of my toes.

I had nothing against Hishigawa himself, he _looked_ nice enough, average height and features with a long ponytail of tawny hair. He had the type of look that back home, in my adult body, I might have fancied a little and subsequently had no chance of landing even if I dared to pursue him. However, my tummy was doing belly flops had nothing to do with his attractiveness as I knew there was only a couple of reasons why he would be here. Either he was a recruiter for the Academy which I deemed my body too young for (Kakashi, Itachi and the rest of the prodigies be damned) or he was-

"He wants to adopt you into his family." Takahashi continued as if there hadn't been a long silence. "Say 'hello', Hinoe-chan."

-_that_.

"Hello, Hishigawa-san." I mumbled unenthusiastically and was treated to another smile, this one wider. _Daisuke's smiles were better_, I thought petulantly. These ones, while not fake per se, were more forced and seemed deliberately constructed to put me at ease. Mustering my courage before the adults could talk over me I asked why.

Hishigawa seemed pleased with the question and with a nod from Takahashi responded. "Because you are a very special girl and I think I could give you a good home." He dropped to his knees in front of me so our lines of sight were almost equal. "Would you like your own home and family, Hinoe-chan?"

There was no way that ninety-nine percent of orphans wouldn't jump at the chance he offered, hell, there were some kids in here that dreamed up stories of long-lost relatives, or were otherwise convinced that they would be one of the lucky few to be taken away from here. It was a wonderful fantasy of theirs to be given their own things and have a loving, supportive family all to themselves rather than hand-me-downs and a harried staff paid to look after them. This man... was playing on those desires, he wanted me to say 'yes' without thinking but I wasn't a child, I saw that this situation wasn't so bad for all that it wasn't perfect. I didn't want anyone to replace those who had given me life. Once had been too much for me already.

Furthermore, if there was family to speak of, Hishigawa would have probably brought them along if only to better convince me. Prospective mother figures, whether they be wives or girlfriends, would be more of a draw to a girl in my position, so it was unlikely Hishigawa had a significant other (although he might have a boyfriend- I made a note to look into how the LGBT movement was doing in Konoha, if the village had one at all) otherwise he would have brought her along to persuade me. The possibility also existed that there was an extended family waiting in the wings somewhere but frankly I wasn't interested in the whole thing to begin with. New people, new environment and a change to my whole routine with new expectations which would likely push me into early recruitment... there was also the most obvious ramification to consider.

Closely watching his face for a reaction, I ignored his question and repeated my own from earlier. "Can Lee come too?"

Hishigawa grimaced, the expression faint and quickly hidden. "I thought it might be nice if you spent a little time getting to know me first, Takahashi-san told me you were the smart one." He smiled again, reaching for my hair, shoulders- some kind of affectionate gesture. I stepped back, out of reach.

"No." There was no other answer and, as far as I was concerned, nothing else to say. My mind whirled to come up with ways that I might avoid this happening again in the future.

I would have to dumb myself down some more, act more like a child even if it meant the humiliation of sitting in the naughty corner. Dammit, when had I given myself away? He was singling me out, had picked me before even meeting me which meant that it was unlikely I was being selected for my sparkling personality. He had already let slip his reasons by calling me 'the smart one' which meant there were already expectations being made of me and given that he was a ninja I doubted I would be called upon to fill a civilian role. Pick up promising orphans when they're young and make them ninja... Why not? All the kids here, Lee included, were lured by the stories and watched avidly as the shinobi leaped across the buildings. Even I was not immune to the draw and I had studied psychology, advertising and propaganda to some degree in my past life. Yes, I would definitely need to act more like a child in the years to come so I wouldn't get scouted by a prospective family again. There was no way I was leaving Lee behind and I wasn't sure if I wanted to attend the academy, never mind become a full-fledge ninja.

Facing the issue at hand I stamped down the urge to snarl as the adults traded covert glances. "Lee is _not_ a spare." Now the looks had a raised eyebrow chucked in there from Hishigawa and Takahashi threw in a shrug as if to say 'I told you so'. They still weren't paying attention to me, trying to go over my head with _my future_. "We're fine on our own anyway."

Finally, Hishigawa deigned to look at me again. "Maa, Hinoe-chan I think you're getting angry for no reason. I only want to give you a real home."

"No," I snapped, "you want me to go with you and forget Lee." _Careful, _I warned myself, _small vocabulary, remember?_ "I won't go."

"Hinoe-chan, I don't think you understand-"

"_No._ You can't make me."

"You might never get this opportunity again," Takahashi added, though she seemed far less fervent. "And it is rare for siblings to be adopted out together."

I had been meaning to ask anyway. "What age can we live on our own?"

The matron's grey brows rose. "That depends. At least one of you will have to be able to cook, clean and keep your money in order. Evaluations start at age five upon request, though there have been rare exceptions to that."

Not a surprising set-up, in a world which produced killers at that age, hell, the orphanage's system was coddling in comparison.

"Okay." I nodded. "Then it's settled." Taking the test would blow any semblance of cover but at least I would be independent then. I bowed to Hishigawa, trying to recover a small sense of decorum. "Thank you but it's still 'no'."

The man winced, smiling apologetically. "The thing is Hinoe-chan, I've already signed the paperwork."

Suddenly I wanted to rip that smile off his face.

"What?" My eyes snapped to Takahashi. "You let him? Without telling me!"

"Hinoe-chan-"

"Don't 'Hinoe-chan' me!" I spat, my old habit of getting wordier when mad bubbling up before I could even think to censor myself. "How could you? Is this normal practice for this establishment- to separate families without even consulting them? How dare you!" Spinning on Hishigawa I pointed an my infantile finger at him, as if I was scolding Lee though with infinitely more fury than I could ever muster at the munchkin. "As for _you_, I don't care what you think or what papers you signed- I am staying with my brother and so help me if you try to take me away from him I will make you regret it!"

My impassioned rant ended with curled fists and a fluttering heart as I panted to regain my breath. _Oh snap..._

"I told you she was smart." Takahashi (and at this point I was loathe to ever call her 'san' again) noted dryly from her desk.

"Well, you were right," Hishigawa chuckled, "though you didn't mention the temper. How old is she again?"

"Almost three, a June child."

"STOP TALKING ABOUT ME LIKE I'M NOT HERE!" I stamped my foot. _That _bad habit was another that had never really left me and becoming a kid again had only made it worse.

"Hinoe-chan!" Takahashi exclaimed, "indoor voice!"

"Being polite-" I spluttered, "isn't as important as my _life_!"

The matron pinched the bridge of her nose and joined Hishigawa on the floor. "Hinoe-chan, this is the way things are usually done. You're not old enough for us to ask you opinion first. It's like when babies are taken in by new families."

"_Except I'm coherent enough to have this conversation with you and that's the whole reason I'm in this mess." _I hissed mutinously, unable to voice my opinion sufficiently in Japanese and unwilling to dig myself deeper even if I could.

Hishigawa looked over at Takahashi who shrugged, waving it off. "Don't mind that, it's just a little language the Rock siblings have with each other."

"Like twin-speak?" The ninja looked intrigued. "Has anyone tried to record it?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"You're doing it again." I tapped my foot, just barely resisting the urge to stamp again. "I'm. Right. _Here._"

Hishigawa sighed. "Look, Hinoe-chan, I've made the arrangements and I'm sorry, if I'd known you were this strongly against the idea I wouldn't have bothered but it's done now. There's nothing I can do about it-"

"Liar."

"-_right now_, but," he gave me a smile that reached his brown eyes, making them look warmer than they really were, "if you don't like the situation after a couple of weeks I will take you back here, how does that sound?"

I took a deep breath and exhaled with my eyes closed. _Calm down, don't explode. Even if this guy is missing the point. What would mum do? What would any of my infinitely more sensible and cool-headed friends do? _Deep breath, exhale...

I didn't believe him. That was the crux of the issue. To another almost-three-year-old a fortnight was an eternity, and all the more so if it was strung out with lies and calendars were doctored. No one expected toddlers to have a sense of time or a grasp of numbers and that would be manipulated. I would be expected to forget Lee, like any other child so young plucked from all they knew and forced to adapt. Despite the fact that negotiation didn't seem to be working I tried again. In blunter terms.

"I have a-" counter-offer? How did you say that? Dammit, I didn't even know how to say 'proposition'. "I have another opinion. I will say goodbye to Lee and let you take me out of here," I held up a hand to waylay any interruptions, "however you will _not_ enjoy my company and I will do everything I can to get back to my brother." If Hishigawa wouldn't believe my words I would have to respond with action and at least this way I'd get to see Lee before I left.

"Uhuh." Hishigawa was trying very hard to keep his eyebrows from reaching his hairline. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Hinoe-chan," Takahashi broached, "would you feel better if Lee was coming as well?" She asked with the air of someone who wanted confirmation of a gut feeling rather than a person just fishing for answers.

Shrugging, I responded. "He doesn't want Lee and he doesn't really want me," I used the impolite address rather than Hishigawa's name rather pointedly, gotta love that Japanese subtext. "And even if someone wanted us for _us_, we don't need anyone else."

Takahashi looked disquieted by that response but she was a professional. "We'll go pack up your things, then you can say goodbye to your brother."

She didn't even try to take my hand on the way out.

* * *

AN: This is much shorter than I intended (only 3100ish words) but it was a better place to end it then at 5000ish words I originally intended. On the bright side, I have lots of material for chapter two now, which was rather short previously. Don't know when that will be out, there's lots of editing to be done and a very tricky scene I've still got to write.

I pondered for a while how I would write the orphanage system in Konoha and this is the result- overworked and understaffed but professional and not completely heartless. The fabulous esama posted a long snippet called Matron on her tumblr not long ago which made me want to change things up but I decided against it in the end. Too much angst steers into the realm of melodrama and I am trying to keep this realistic. As for Kabuto's orphanage, that was outside the village and didn't seem to be officially sanctioned.

I don't think there is a single huge facility in the village but several small ones with 20-40 children in each. Not only were there the casualties of the Kyuubi attack but there have been wars and skirmishes in recent history- all on top of the many children in Konoha who canonically have both parents in active shinobi service. How many of these are clan children with a large support base willing to take them in? How many civilian grandparents/other relatives are able to take on a shinobi-raised child? Hinoe and Lee are at a civilian orphanage but there are others that will have training dummies and targets instead of sandboxes.

**I will be introducing a canon character next chapter.** I can almost guarantee it's not the first one anyone thinks of but I'd love to hear your guesses. Virtual cookies for the one(s) who gets it right.

As always, thank you for reading and tell me what you think!


	3. Chapter 2

A.N.: Those who have kept up with my profile updates will already know that I suffered a huge file loss recently- it was caused by a faulty pendrive and set me back for quite a few stories, including this one. I'd like to thank everyone who continued to leave reviews and give support during this unplanned hiatus.

This chapter was like pulling hens teeth the second time around but I think it's better for the rewrite (one scene was redone no less than SIX times- think you can spot which one?).

* * *

Chapter Two

Lee didn't understand. Of course he didn't.

"You're leaving?" His eyes grew tearful as he scrambled up from the grass exactly where I'd left him, all sleepiness gone and replaced with the expression of one seeing the whole world fall apart around them. "B-but I don't want you to go!" He gripped the front of my t-shirt and I knew I would feel monstrous when the time came to pry those fingers off.

"I won't be gone long." I tried to placate him but Lee just thrust his bottom lip out and oh gods, it was _trembling_.

"How long?" The tears were flowing now and I wiped them away from his cheeks as Lee's breath hitched repeatedly in a prelude to hyperventilation. Or a tantrum. I'd never seen Lee throw a honest-to-god tantrum before, he was usually so sweet and easy-going... Then again, a minute ago I was screaming and foot-stamping so I could hardly fault Lee. I could quite happily blame Hishigawa, who was the common denominator here.

"_Don't cry. It's going to be okay._"I soothed in English. "_I love you too much to ever, ever leave you for good, you know that right?_" I gave him the best approximation of a smile I could muster. "_You're my most important person in the whole wide world_." And he really was- there was no one else on this backwards planet that I cared about to anywhere near the same degree, because memories of ink and pixels simply couldn't compare to the flesh and blood reality of Lee whom had been the one constant since my rebirth.

Perhaps it would be better to articulate some of those feelings in Japanese, to better twist the knife in Hishigawa's gut and make him see exactly what damage he was doing, but I didn't. These words were for Lee and I didn't want to share them with someone who was already trying to take so much from us.

"_T-then why a-are you going with h-h-him?_" Lee pointed an accusing finger at Hishigawa, who was pointedly watching the clouds pass overhead rather than the kids whose lives he was in the process of ruining.

Switching back to Japanese I aimed my response at the brunet shinobi. "I don't have a choice, I have to go. I won't be long though, I promise you that."

Lee sniffled. "How long?"

"Hmm..." I considered. How long would it take for me to make Hishigawa regret the adoption and jump through every loophole in the paperwork to send me back? "Three days." Lee's brow furrowed and I clarified, since the boy had difficulty linking the numbers he knew to the passage of time. "You will sleep alone tonight and the next night and maybe the night after that but no longer. I won't be able to see you during the days either." I held up three fingers. "For this long."

"That's really long." Lee muttered mutinously.

"I know _sweetheart_, you'll have to be really brave for a while."

"But you'll come back?"

Resolutely, I nodded. "I promise."

"Pinky swear." Lee insisted, calling upon the ancient oath making convention to seal the deal.

"Okay." We interlocked pinky fingers and I worded my vow in English to be absolutely sure I wouldn't mess it up. _"I swear that I will come back to you as soon as I can, that we will never be separated for good no matter what. I will do my best to come back in three days and no more_._"_ I couldn't anger the Pinky Promise Gods by swearing to something I wasn't absolutely sure of after all.

Thankfully, Lee looked convinced, if not entirely happy. "Okay."

"Yubikiri genman uso tsuitara hari senbon nomasu yubi kitta!" We sang in unison, our fingers breaking apart on the last note.

"So," I broached after my new 'father' and I were out of earshot, Lee shuffled inside by one of the caretakers and my meagre belongings in a small bag flung over Hishigawa's shoulder. "That heartbreaking scene back there? Your fault."

The man sighed. "Can we not argue about this? If I'd known that this was going to be such a big issue..."

I eyed him reproachfully. "Why did you do it anyway?"

"My mother." He responded after a long silence and a hint of embarrassment. "She thinks I should settle down and give her grandchildren but I don't have the time for that if I hope to make jounin before I'm twenty." God, he was really young. A good age for shinobi but yeah, if he hadn't even made jounin yet he could expect another five to ten years of active service before he had to move fields. If he lasted that long.

Only the exceptional jounin ever stayed in active front-line service past their prime and it Hishigawa didn't make the cut before his twenties he was probably going to be drafted into another department. I was no expert on the subject, but more than a few of the staff had shinobi relatives and I had picked up a lot of miscellaneous information from their chit-chat.

Right now, still seething from the meeting in the office, I had no desire to act like an idiot. It wasn't like Hishigawa would buy my act any more anyway; any naivety I displayed would have to be more subtle.

"So you want me to keep your mother company while you go off and play ninja." He twitched as I used the common phrase used on the playground. "And you picked me because...?"

Another sigh, this one sounded like he was trying to expel his own spirit so it didn't have to deal with me. "My mother wouldn't be happy without a young child but I didn't want to deal with a baby either. I asked at the orphanage and it sounded like you were mature but young enough to be cute."

I flushed, not used to 'cute' being used in conjunction with my appearance- in either lifetime. As Hinoe I had skinny limbs scrapped from numerous tumbles since I was continually adjusting for new growth, or just forgetting I was a little kid and overreaching. My face was a controversy of indelicate features against plump toddler cheeks. My most prominent feature was my hair- a nest of dark tangles which all but snarled when one dared approached them with a brush. Even my pupils and irises merged seamlessly into bottomless black pools. The only genetic jackpot I had hit this time around was my predilection to tan instead of burning under the bright Konoha sun. But cute? I didn't do cute.

Usually.

I held up my arms in a universal gesture. "Carry me?"

Hishigawa eyed me suspiciously. "Why?"

"My feet hurt." I whined, forcing my already large eyes to blink dolefully. "I'm not used to walking lots." We were five minutes at a toddler's trot from the orphanage, which wasn't even a full street away in reality. If this kept up we would never get where we were going. Tempting, but not the angle I was going for.

Evidently deciding just to roll with it, Hishigawa picked me up and set off at a civilian adult's pace, happy to cut down on travel time. The afternoon crowds stopped him from going too quickly, for although the streets weren't packed the civilians didn't clear a path for strolling ninja either. The easy-going attitude regular people in Konoha showed their shinobi forces meant they were comfortable in ninja company and really highlighted the differences between here and somewhere like Kirigakure whose shinobi had such a fearsome reputation.

We travelled for a minute or two before I feigned boredom with fidgeting. "It's not that long a walk, my mother lives in the Maple District. Do you want me to take you across the rooftops?" He asked me, a little hopeful.

I shook my head 'shyly' and clung to his flack jacket a little tighter, hoping that 'not that long' was in ninja distance, not a civilian crawl. I continued to fidget, looking about like I was merely interested and not trying to commit the route to memory. "Hey..." I broached from my position in his arms (it would have been slightly less humiliating if he trusted me to travel piggy-back fashion but this actually worked in my favour). "Can I see my adoption papers?"

"Why?" Hishigawa chuckled, "destroying them won't do anything, the orphanage has copies anyway."

I puffed up my cheeks, as if the very thought was an insane suggestion and I was simply appalledthat he would even suggest such a thing. "I know that- I'm not stupid. I just..." Fidget, avoid eye-contact, recall mortifying experiences from my second baby period to induce a blush: Embarrassment. "I just want to see my name." I muttered.

"Your name?" Hishigawa sounded caught between amusement and curiosity but I wasn't about to look up to confirm either- I didn't trust myself to lie face-to-face with a trained professional. "Why do you want to see you name?"

"I _can_ write it the easy way: hi-no-e." I mapped the hiragana in the air with sloppy toddler fingers. "But no one's shown me the _proper_ way- they say I'm too young to learn or they don't have time to show me!" This was actually true, because I was so self-sufficient for my apparent age and carried the added bonus of keeping Lee in line, the carers did spend more time with the other children, both in the classroom and outside of it. For the most part, this was a good thing because their coddling was unwanted and their teaching methods left much to be desired anyway, but it did make getting extra support or information difficult when I wanted it. "If you let me see I promise I won't rip up the papers. It's just been bugging me for _ages_." Try over two years.

"Hmm..." The brunet looked won over but was just stringing it out now. "I don't know. I don't want to trek all the way back to the office to get another set."

"You won't need to." Not if I had my way at least.

Hishigawa rubbed his chin. "How about I let you see the papers _if_ you promise to be on your best behaviour when you meet my mother?"

That was hardly unreasonable. "I promise."

"Okay." Hishigawa slowed his pace half a notch, pulling the carefully folded sheets from a pocket in his flack jacket. "Let's see... there you go. That's your family name," he tapped the complex kanji cluster on the left side of the box, "and there's your personal name," he tapped the comparatively simple symbol beside it. Four strokes, five? I didn't recognise it from any of my old flash cards but the stroke components were familiar. I tugged the papers away so I could get a closer look and then started tracing the symbol for my name. "Oh hey, you already know stroke orders? Aren't you a clever girl..."

I didn't like something in his tone so I just shrugged, hunching my shoulders as I repeated my motions. "You just start at the the right-"

"Left."

I held up my left hand innocently. "Isn't this right?"

"No, that's left." He sighed and left me to my tracing. Left to right. Top to bottom. Outside to inside. My name contained the characters for 'one' and 'person' with what could be a radical or just a component I didn't recognise. Honestly, 'one person', I hoped that wasn't a sign or something. Like I didn't feel isolated or alienated enough in this world...

After a minute I carefully folded the sheets again and shoved them down the front of my dress. Hishigawa raised a brow. "I want to practice writing it later. I _promised_ I'd not make you get another set, remember?"

"Sure, sure, just don't lose them." Hishigawa waved me off. It wasn't like I could drop them without him noticing, he'd see if I pulled them out again and for them to fall naturally I'd have to stand up and jump about a bit; this dress had been small on me for a couple of months now.

We walked in silence for a moment and the wide yawn I let out wasn't even an act; an adult mind in a toddler's body can be a real bitch when the flesh needs rest but the brain just won't shut down. Now, my born-again insomnia was actually going to come in handy for once because I could feign sleep without actually dropping off. Nodding against Hishigawa's shoulder and opening my eyelids in increasingly short intervals before stopping altogether, I plotted.

My plan had been forming since I was led from the office but even after taking time to calm down and review my options, I didn't feel guilty about what I was going to do. He had hurt Lee and was fully aware of his impact on our lives. Hishigawa didn't even care enough to admit he was wrong; the closest he got to an apology was the passing comment about how much trouble I was turning out to be. He wasn't concerned with the happiness and well-being of two human beings enough to deal with some paper work. So no, there was no remorse, no desire to wait and get to know this man better. I am a firm believer in judging someone by how they treat those weaker than themselves and as far as first impressions went, Hishigawa's was abysmal.

The crux of the issue was... I severely doubted Hishigawa was ever going to keep his promise of a trial period and that the longer I stayed the harder an absolution of the adoption contract was going to be. I had promised Lee I would try to be gone for no more than three days but I would make the reality three hours if I had any say in the matter. Getting back to Lee as quickly as possible was my goal but I couldn't deny the rage which had been simmering beneath my skin since the office; that primal urge to lash out with fists and feet and make the bastard responsible for dragging me away from the only person I loved in this world _hurt_.

"_...you will _not_ enjoy my company and I will do everything I can to get back to my brother."_

None of my promises were made lightly and it was time to start delivering on one of them.

I waited until noise picked up around me, signalling a busy street. I proceeded to 'wake up', gasped and started screaming at the top of my lungs. "KYAAAAAA! WHO ARE YOU?! YOU'RE _NOT _MY TOU-CHAN! LET GO OF MEEEE!" I accompanied my very vocal proclamations with frantic kicking and clawing. Both kicking and clawing were very satisfying. Does being in a world of ninja naturally make you violent, or was I always hiding this sadistic streak?

Hishigawa cursed, trying hard not to drop me or get an eye poked out. One by one, the crowd of mid-morning shoppers and passing shinobi turned in our direction, I could feel their gaze and when I peeked out- sure enough, they were wearing expressions ranging from worried interest to promises of imminent bloody murder. What joy, I hadn't just staged this confrontation on a bustling street but a thriving marketplace.

If I held even a vestige of sympathy for this man it was drowned out by sweet vindication. 'For want of a nail the kingdom was lost', or in this case, for want of a paperwork retraction a reputation was lost. Well, only if the civilian gossip circuit was as efficient as the ninja intelligence system; it would really depend on how slow of a week this was and how common cases of child-abduction were in the village and how often that information trickled down into the civilian sphere. If incidents like this were a dime-a-doze, Hishigawa would have to avoid this marketplace. If this was unusual enough to stick in the minds of sellers and shoppers alike for a good long time and spread across the village grapevine sufficiently... well, Hishigawa would have to make all his purchases under henge in the future.

"Ah- this isn't what it looks like!" Hishigawa juggled me onto one arm as he rummaged in a pocket of his chuunin vest. "I have the adoption papers here, she's just a little confused..." He trailed off as he realised that I still had the papers and he would have to reach down my dress to retrieve them.

Besides, 'confused' was better than 'she's obviously plotting something, can't you see?' I wasn't going to give him any breathing room however and continued to kick and scream: "ONII-CHAMA!" I wailed the most cutesy and juvenile term I knew for 'big brother'. "I WANT MY ONII-CHAAMAAA~!" The sheer effort of putting so much terror into my words was actually beginning to hurt a little. Old high school drama classes on vocal emotion and projection helped a great deal now but we had left the orphanage before snack time and my shrieks grated on a parched throat. Come to think of it, the rasp probably helped the effect.

"I think you need to put the girl down." An Uchiha shinobi, clad in their clan's law enforcement uniform, dropped down from the rooftops and his sudden appearance and flare of chakra made me flinch; I was not used to having shinobi flexing their chakra so close and was taken aback by how different it was to sense like this as opposed to touch. The policeman's chakra seemed more... sterile, less personable, and I wondered if that was an Uchiha trait, something unique to this one man, or a characteristic of long-distance sensing as a whole.

Hishigawa put me down and backed away with slow, non-threatening movements. Immediately I was enveloped by the crowd of bystanders who became a human shield against my would-be kidnapper, alternating between sympathetic looks shot in my direction and skin-flaying glares thrown Hishigawa's way. I could still see what was going on through the press of legs because I was that woefully short but it didn't change the fact that Hishigawa could still talk his way out of this. Burrowing out of a little gap in the crowd, I carefully watched my would-be father for facial cues while trying to stamp down my jittery nerves.

"Little one, you're shaking." An elderly woman who had been manning a stall moments ago rubbed my shivering shoulders in a comforting manner. Her weak civilian chakra felt like cool peppermint tea and was such a balm to the earlier disconcerting sensation of the Uchiha's chakra that I leaned into her touch as I tuned into the conversation happening in front of me.

"I'm telling you," Hishigawa threw his arms up in the air in the face of the Uchiha's unrelenting suspicion, "she's faking it!" He rubbed the bridge of his nose, visibly frustrated. "Look, she's a good liar I'll give you that but she has the papers on her person. Just search her and you'll know that she's acting out to cause trouble."

Hishigawa was cooling down, sounding more logical by the minute and that calm tone was as damaging as it was grating. Evidently I needed to be more convincing to pull this off. I focused on memories of my first mother and how much I missed her, on the day the Kyuubi attacked and the subsequent deaths of Lee's parents, on Lee himself and how overwhelmed I felt sometimes trying tofill that parental void-

Tears came very easily after that.

"I- I ju-just want to go _home_!" I sobbed and wondered when I had blurred the line between acting and reality; I reined myself in with difficulty and wove the most incriminating truths I could from what little interaction I had already had with Hishigawa. Skewed reality could be just as damning as lies but by using the former I could later claim everything had been a misunderstanding; barefaced lies could be used to incriminate me. "I don't wa-wanna be li-little or _cute_ any more!" I turned to the police office, all tears and trembling which were not entirely feigned. "He- he said that's why..." I trailed off before promptly bursting into tears again.

"How _dare_ you-!"

Hishigawa might have taken a step forward, slipped into a taijutsu stance or something else which was construed as a threat. Maybe the officer just didn't like Hishigawa's tone because my would-be father was swiftly introduced to the dirt road face to- well, dirt. Hishigawa tensed under the Uchiha before going deliberately slack. The policeman hauled him up as if he was a sack of feathers, cuffs encasing Hishigawa's wrists which looked too flimsy to hold a ninja. "I'm sure you are aware that breaking out of these is a punishable offence, _comrade_."

"I'll come quietly. I've done nothing wrong." Hishigawa's eyes were shards of amber as he glared at me and my skin tingled unpleasantly with hot/cold pinpricks as he held my gaze. I was rooted to the spot, everything from the knees down encased in mud or quicksand- the give was tenuous and escape attempts an ultimately pointless effort.

_Is this killing intent?_

The unwelcome sensations fell away as Hishigawa was jostled by the officer. "Sure," the Uchiha scoffed, "because innocent people intimidate witnesses." He turned to me and I flinched in shock at seeing blood red eyes staring back at me. His sharingan were deactivated with a blink and the officer smiled comfortingly. "It's okay now, I'm taking the bad man away."

I shuffled my feet, shy from the attention and perhaps a little guilty too. Not for the mess I'd dumped Hishigawa in but for the deceitfulness I had employed to make my goal a reality. I reminded myself that what Hishigawa had tried to do was an assault against my way of life and that was a comparable crime to the one that I was obliquely accusing Hishigawa of. It wasn't a lie. Not really.

"Thank you, yuusha-san." I mumbled before I lost the nerve and buried my burning face in the skirts of the old stall lady. There was a chorus of 'aww's but I ignored them as the officer continued talking in a business-like manner.

"The force is spread thin with the mission rota today so I will have to come back after booking this guy." He gave the limp Hishigawa a little shake. "Can someone look after her while I go to the station?"

"I will, Uchiha-san." The stall lady piped up, rubbing my back as I sniffled. "Thank you for your service."

The officer nodded. "It shouldn't take me more than half an hour to put him through the system." He vanished along with Hishigawa in a swirl of leaves.

"Those ninja," the old lady sighed, "always so abrupt."

* * *

It took perhaps ten minutes for the commotion to die down to hissing gossip but I had gained a stalwart protector in the fruit stall owner, Fuuko-san, who kept all the busy-bodies from bothering me.

Sitting on an overturned crate beside her, I munched on the apple that had been thrust upon me earlier and considered my options.

The police officer would come back soon and (unless I was ridiculously lucky) the man would have checked out Hishigawa's story at the orphanage. I would get a stern talking to at best (what _was_ an acceptable means of punishment for children in this world anyway?) and perhaps I would be able to spin my story so my actions appeared more confused than malicious; By the slimiest of margins I had avoided lying outright while still dropping Hishigawa in as much trouble as possible, so I would use that to my gain if I could.

If I waited here there would probably be a scene (and oh did I _hate_ to be on the receiving end of those), caused either by a proven innocent Hishigawa, or a furious officer whom I had manipulated into arresting a comrade under false pretences.

But potential embarrassment aside, if I stayed here I would not be allowed to go home. I would either go to the Elm District or the nearest police station and neither location was appealed to me in the slightest. I wanted to see Lee, whom I had already left for a small eternity in child-time.

I wanted to go to sleep and wake up somewhere that my personhood was not in question.

Never underestimate the power and privilege of freewill. Take someone who has lived into early adulthood- gradually gaining skills, self-confidence and all the other prerequisites needed to achieve their dreams and live their life. Now take all of that away, leaving only the memory that once, _once_ they could function independently.

Because when you diminish that person physically, treat them as if they are mentally incompetent, as if someone else (everyone else) knows better than they do about their own health, daily routine and personal preferences you slowly drive them to the brink of sanity. Going from fledgling adulthood to infancy is a trauma which cannot be underestimated: it shakes your confidence, makes you desperate and so very _angry _at everyone who tries to keep you docile, contained, _dependant_.

Even with a fully-formed mind I was hideously restricted by my lack of choices in this world and the inability to exert freewill is the same as being without it entirely.

_If this keeps up, how long will it be before I snap? Maybe I already have. I'm in a world of magical ninja who think orange is a stealthy colour after all. _

Trying to maintain my old standard of personhood had backfired on me. Showing even a fraction of my adult intellect had demoted me to an object, something to be upped and moved without so much as a 'by your leave'.

So really, my new plan of action was going to be the same as my old one, conceived in the moment I finally understood where I was and who I had ended up with. The difference? I was actually going to stick with the plan this time, no more half-assed attempts or breaking away because I was bored or frustrated.

_Keep your head down. Don't make waves in the canon. Look after Lee._

From now on everything was going to be for the benefit of those three objectives. Nothing else mattered. Not a system which worked against me, or people who would constrain me, stop me from doing what I needed to do. I cast my gaze in Fuuko-san's direction and pushed down a surge of guilt.

I couldn't even protect my own interests so empathy is a luxury I cannot waste on strangers. Let her wonder, worry, search.

After much deliberation over which method to employ for my escape, I realised that the simplest solution was probably the best. Holding up my gnawed apple core, I flashed a smile at the kindly old lady currently swamped by customers and guilelessly trotted off the direction of a public bin. From there I slipped into the crowd and out of sight.

* * *

For the record: my sense of direction has always been terrible. I would also like to point out that I had my eyes closed for most of the trip, spent a lot of it with my eyes fixed on a bit of paper and was seething with fury and nerves throughout. Yes, I had attempted to memorise a route or at least a few key landmarks but-

Okay, I admit it. I'm lost.

Not panicking. Despite appearances I am not a child. I am _not_ panicking.

_Right, if the Hokage mountain is _there_ and I'm _here...I bit my lip as I tried to orientate myself. _Then I need to move forward a good deal more and get myself in line with the Nidaime's face. _Which, given the size of the carving, was still a large area to cover. For the time being I focused on walking, hoping that something more precise would ping my memory.

A ninja launched themselves across the gap between two buildings overhead and I flinched, pressing my back to a restaurant's outer wall.

_Oh yes, _great_ way to look inconspicuous. _I thought sarcastically.

Another shinobi hurtled overhead and I squeaked -literally _squeaked_- before hiding myself under an outdoor table.

_Okay, stay calm. They're probably not even looking for you- ninja have better things to do after all, just stay calm, keep your head down and-_

"Hey, kid."

I froze.

"Yeah, talking to you."

I peeked out through the gap of the tabletop and long bench but saw only a woman's bare legs, blue sandals (the most common footwear around- even I was wearing a pair) and the hem of a tan coat. "Oh, hi nee-san!" I attempted a guileless tone. "I'm trying reeeeally hard to win hide-n'-seek so don't give me away, 'kay?"

The woman sitting the next table over barked a laugh. "Bullshit. Pull the other one." She paused for a moment and I heard the slurp of liquid, a tea cup hitting the table then-

I hadn't even seen her move. One moment her legs were in my sights the next I was being pulled from my hiding place to dangle by the back of my dress. 'Eeep'ing, I reflexively clutched my chest where the adoption papers were still secreted.

"Okay munchkin, what did ya do? Steal a sweet, say a bad word, what?"

"Um..." I blinked several times, my brain in the process of rebooting as I stared at the face of a young Mitarashi Anko. Dark purple hair, pupil-less brown eyes (how was that even possible and was she related to the Yamanaka clan somehow?) and a devil-may-care smirk were all true to form although it took me a moment to overwrite the memory of an animation with the reality staring me in the face.

"Hey, kid." She swung me side-to-side like a miscreant puppy, not showing the slightest hint of strain although she was holding me up with one hand and twirling a wooden skewer in the other. "Did I break you?"

Reboot successful. "Oh wow, nee-san, you're a ninja- that is so cool!" I chirped, trying to pass off my shock as hero worship.

"Uhuh." She looked unconvinced. "And you're hiding from ninja, why?"

"Well, it's a game I play..." I opened my already large eyes wide and held Anko's gaze unflinchingly. "Like hide-n'-seek, but with ninja." I pouted. "You made me lose."

Anko's brows had disappeared under her hitai-ate but her lips were twitching with a beginning of a smile. "Riiight."

"Can you put me down please, nee-san? I don't wanna rip my dress." The kunoichi thought it over before shrugging, putting me on my feet.

Obviously it would be stupid to run but maybe I could get some directions while I had her attention. "Hey, nee-san, d'ya know how to get to the Elm District? I'mma little lost."

"Nope, sorry kid." Anko lied (she must have- the Elm district was well-known and Anko had lived in Konoha since childhood), as she returned to her seat, flicking her finished dango skewer into the ground where it formed another part of an emerging swirl. "Can't help you."

"Well, m'kay, thanks anyways-"

"Why don't you sit with me for a while." Anko cut in. "I'll see about getting you home after I finish eating."

"Oh no, that's okay." I squeaked before clearing my throat and trying again. "I'm sure pretty ninja ladies have better things to do." I slowly started backing away.

Anko smiled widely. "Aw, aren't you sweet!" Her tone took a sudden U-turn from saccharine to positively acidic. "Sit down brat."

I sat.

She eyed me for a long moment, taking a slurp of tea as she surveyed me.

"So, sticking to the 'playing a game' story, huh?"

"What else woulda be doin'?" I tried to keep my tone mild and face inquisitive.

"No idea but you're a terrible liar. You try too hard." She informed me before sucking another dango off her latest skewer.

_So, if I was more nonchalant...? _ I pondered before mentally shaking myself. "'M not lying, nee-san."

"Yeah you are."

I kept my mouth shut and thus we sat in silence for a few minutes as Anko worked her way through her decadent serving of sweets. Twelve skewers left (how could she eat so many anyway?), three dango per skewer, an average of four dango eaten per minute... nine minutes until she finished eating and I had to face whatever she had in store.

Trying too hard, was I? Time to pull out something old school then.

I started to fidget. Crossing and uncrossing my legs, looking over my shoulder at the restaurant proper and back. Rinse, repeat.

"What, brat?"

"I have to pee." I whispered and it was not hard to summon a blush at my words since this was a rediscovered low for me. I really missed being able to act with mature decorum without consequences.

Perhaps my genuine mortification won me points because Anko just rolled her eyes before going back to her food. "First door on the right, don't take forever."

I scurried into the restaurant without another word, feeling eyes on my back as I went straight to the ladies and tried to still my frantically beating heart. _Think of it like a spy movie. A spy movie without explosions or maniacal one-eyed villains with fluffy cats. Yeah._

Thankfully there _was_ a small window and as a bonus the toilet stalls were all empty. I bemoaned the lack of a lock on the main door while I reached for the window handle, ears straining for the sound of anyone approaching.

Even on tip-toes I was too short to get any leverage so I was forced to retrieve a bucket from the cleaner's cupboard and try again with the added boost. The latch was easy enough to shift after that but the window itself was all but glued to the frame.

I rested my forehead against the frosted glass pane as I took a deep breath, pushing down my rising panic. _It's okay, no rush, I have seven minutes at least before Anko finishes eating and when she can't find me it's not like she's going to bother looking for me, right?_

Okay, over thinking was officially _not_ helping me. I jumped off the bucket and grabbed a bottle of liquid soap from by the sinks, working the perfumed gel into the seam between the window and frame. Two minutes of slicking, realigning the bucket and bruising my shoulder as I pushed with all my puny might, I finally managed to shift the window open. I pulled myself out the other side, tossed the soap into the closest and closed the window behind me.

I surveyed the side street, greatly heartened that my escape route led away from where I'd left Anko. _Right so home is... that way? Yeah, seems like._

I wiped my soap and grime covered hands on the hem of my dress (I hadn't dared to spare the time to wash them) and set off at a jog in the direction I hoped the orphanage lay in.

_So, how many ninja am I running from now, three? This is far from my best plan ever._

_._

_._

_._

_God, I really need to find the mute button for my inner monologues. _

* * *

A.N.: Well, there you have it. I hope you enjoyed despite the wait but at least this chapter was longer than the last one, right?

'Yuusha' is roughly translated to 'hero' or 'virtuous man' (person? I'm not sure if it can mean a woman). With different kanji it reads 'superior individual' which I didn't know until I fact-checked. Hinoe does not know the secondary meaning but I'm sure that Uchiha-san is feeling awfully chuffed right now. Well, maybe.

So, yeah, the canon character was Anko. I told you it wouldn't be anything obvious. Though from your reviews it sounds like most people thought Hinoe was going to be dragged off to ROOT and Danzou's (it does technically have a 'u' in there but god does it look weird at 4am... why am I posting a chapter at 4am?) evil clutches.

Suspicious readers. I am so proud.


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